Poems of a daughter’s journey through her mother’s battle with cancer.
I. Shocked “It’s cancer” The doctor says Shocked my mom’s face Flash flood of tears to my eyes Such a surprise Telling the rest of the fam Heart breaks over & over again.
II. The day after Is this real life? Or a dream? This can’t be happening Feels so surreal In and out of reality Uncontrollable crying Incapable of comprehending.
III. Powerless It didn’t take me long To realize I have no control I have to let it go Or the cancer will consume my heart And for that I’ll play no part Giving it to God For He shall provide.
IV. People Siblings; joining forces Friends; reaching out Family; indestructible Kind nurses, smart doctors Love, support, prayers A powerful combination Life is impossible by ourselves.
V. My Mother; The Lioness She won’t go down without a fight One of the most ferocious A true warrior of the night Kind, loving, & a listener to all But mess with her cubs, you’ll get the claw Cancer beware, you won’t be here long Mom, never forget, the rest of the pack has your back.
VI. Chemo Good days Bad days And all in between The chemo is working From what we have seen Nausea however upsets her the most New medicine she’s trying, hope it’s a better dose.
VII. Violent Vixen Few rounds of chemo down Brunette hair still holding strongly onto the root Just like her Faith Tonight my sister & I colored it violet vixen We cranked the music up Danced while we brushed on the color Laughed the night away because we were all together.
VIII. Results (2nd Pet Scan 11.25.16) Nauseous Anxious chatter Hard to breathe Family Faith First Doctor comes in Blood count good Some other stats Doctor left Waiting Waiting Waiting Waiting Waiting Main Doctor comes in… “GOOD NEWS!” “Significant improvement.. … Best you can be!” Deep breathe out Automatic Tears of Joy Flowing Down my face Took another breathe Looked around We could have collected A puddle In the middle of the room From all the streams from our happy, tearful eyes.
Here is some extra information on Shakespeare’s Garden just in case you were interested..
I also read somewhere that Shakespeare himself possibly planted a tree here once back in the day.
“Shakespeare Garden is a four-acre landscape named for the famed English poet and playwright. The garden features flowers and plants mentioned in Shakespeare’s poems and plays and is designed to resemble the Bard’s native English countryside. The garden’s diverse array of plants, including columbine, primrose, wormwood, quince, lark’s heel, rue, eglantine, flax and cowslip, are accompanied by small plaques featuring quotes from Shakespearean works that reference the garden’s flowers.
The garden was created in 1913 by Dr. Edmond Bronk Southwick, who was both the Parks Department entomologist and a devoted reader of Shakespeare, at the request of Parks Commissioner Charles Stover. In cooperation with the Board of Education, Southwick carefully plotted the bulbs and seeds that would bring the garden to life. In 1916, the garden was officially renamed Shakespeare Garden and dedicated to the memory of William Shakespeare on the tricentennial of his death. In its early years, the Garden was maintained by Dr. Southwick and the Shakespeare Society.
However, after the Society disbanded in 1929, the garden began to cycle through periods of decline- much like the rest of Central Park. By the 1970s, the garden was completely overgrown, contained very little horticultural diversity, and lacked the inspiration and beauty of its earlier years. Thankfully, community volunteers began to clean up the garden in 1975, and the then nascent Central Park Conservancy oversaw a complete restoration of the Garden in 1987. The restoration included replanting the garden with fresh plant life, expanding the garden, repaving paths, installing rustic wooden benches and fences, and adding bronze plaques with Shakespeare quotes. With generous support from the Samuel & May Rudin Foundation and the visionary design of Bruce Kelly and David Varnell Landscape Architects, the garden was then returned to its original splendor.”
— Wakes up — checks social media — Scrolls down — Bombarded by hearts & pic stitches — “Oh, It’s Valentine’s Day”…
“…But for The First Time”
My news feed is full of couples. Everywhere I go I see people: Holding hands Smiling In love. For the first time I’m not sad Angry Or jealous. The city is full of people selling: Red Balloons Teddy bears Chocolates. For the first time I’m not Depressed Lonely Hating life On this “made up” holiday That I couldn’t wait to shout about In the past. Instead I didn’t do that & for the first time I had a great day Filled with productivity And living in the moment Wishing all couples I saw on social media or in real life: Happiness Bliss & Everlasting Pure love. Not once did I wish my life was different. Later on in the day In a bit of a rush I stopped As I saw a small delicate flower laying on top of the stairs in the new subway station Beautiful Alone Partially broken Yet there I smiled as I picked it up This flower I truly feel Is just for me Maybe Sent from above Rewarding me Or thanking me For practicing One of the greatest gifts of all, Self love. This day was not like the rest & for the first Valentine’s Day in years, if not ever, it was the best.