“The day my life stood still.” — Raffaela Loria

Poems of a daughter’s journey through her mother’s battle with cancer.

I. Shocked
“It’s cancer”
The doctor says
Shocked my mom’s face
Flash flood of tears to my eyes
Such a surprise
Telling the rest of the fam
Heart breaks over & over again.

II. The day after
Is this real life?
Or a dream?
This can’t be happening
Feels so surreal
In and out of reality
Uncontrollable crying
Incapable of comprehending.

III. Powerless
It didn’t take me long
To realize I have no control
I have to let it go
Or the cancer will consume my heart
And for that I’ll play no part
Giving it to God
For He shall provide.

IV. People
Siblings; joining forces
Friends; reaching out
Family; indestructible
Kind nurses, smart doctors
Love, support, prayers
A powerful combination
Life is impossible by ourselves.

V. My Mother; The Lioness
She won’t go down without a fight
One of the most ferocious
A true warrior of the night
Kind, loving, & a listener to all
But mess with her cubs, you’ll get the claw
Cancer beware, you won’t be here long
Mom, never forget, the rest of the pack has your back.

VI. Chemo
Good days
Bad days
And all in between
The chemo is working
From what we have seen
Nausea however upsets her the most
New medicine she’s trying, hope it’s a better dose.

VII. Violent Vixen
Few rounds of chemo down
Brunette hair still holding strongly onto the root
Just like her Faith
Tonight my sister & I colored it violet vixen
We cranked the music up
Danced while we brushed on the color
Laughed the night away because we were all together.

VIII. Results (2nd Pet Scan 11.25.16)
Anxious chatter
Hard to breathe
First Doctor comes in
Blood count good
Some other stats
Doctor left
Main Doctor comes in…
“Significant improvement..
… Best you can be!”
Deep breathe out
Tears of Joy
Down my face
Took another breathe
Looked around
We could have collected
A puddle
In the middle of the room
From all the streams from our happy, tearful eyes.

Still have a fight to go..
To be continued..

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